Experience My Life

Okay so by nature you don’t give, you don’t yield, only day after day, keep working tirelessly, mindlessly, totally on instinct, the die in some spectacular way, no one could tell. I completely believe in you now. I can’t read you either, no body language, no clues, only signs. I give to you. You win, I take the blame, walk away with self inflicted baggage. All these people, billions of them, in a stupid suit, doing what? Is that a cover up? Smoke screen? Not giving, hiding your guilt? When this is over I don’t want to know your name either. We are already in the new game, that’s running here, seek peek. Why would I keep you arrogant, you have to give. Don’t run or hide. Just talking to myself. See the Red Queen syndrome is nothing but, reality, that I’m all alone, just hurting myself. I should be staying aloof here in this station, because these people aren’t shutting this place down yet. Their hopes are that of absolution. How do I get off this base, just hiding inside air ducts, locked garage rooms, that I call hideouts. And then the conscience call of seeing humans, but they are not real. Just meat people, meat kids, meat families, in reality they are all ready to explode, and put an end to this place. Running such a nuclear installation, such a facility which being, as we speak, rigged to the last bolt, to kill me, good guys, why would I thinking about giving up, or making conversation.

After discovery of the fact that only people troll this world, and they cover up through self destruction, we had to give them a life, that appears real enough, and they keep giving to me. Then we get them married and the family system was inculcated with social boundaries. Business as usual for them. They even have to fight some people from their own borders, keeping them in a challenging posture, so that they keep giving. All that is done, so people keep fighting each other. Alice is a DM, who must now fight them for us, real survivors. She isn’t going to bring them here, and not get anyone killed, like other DMs, like Pops. How? Why? Because people now give, the war is over. Only the battle of today, where they’ve found a way again to cover up fully, and the world ends, even Alice has turned against me, and is going to go away, not fight them, like them. See only in their self destruction, was the key to my destruction hidden, so I must keep them alive, even segregated in borders, multiple universes. That’s what I’ve always given them. That they can’t cover up, instead they must fight Alice. And Alice has given to me, she won’t kill and die either with them. She’ll stop them, fight them, rise from the ashes, and not die, no matter what, keep me alive. The watcher of Rt.

Over the years, the model of the world, has been more about, how to orchestrate the destruction, of the self. That in itself being, the quest for finding the answers, that coax me, into wandering and coincidental, occasional mishaps. Coming out of it is a nightmare, like lying in a hot summer, with my whole body getting wasted. And people just feasting on that. All these answers eluded me, decade after decade, as I kept playing the role of a collector, I was just not able to ascertain anything about how things could, be so bewildering, or just so simple, that I’d find it hard to understand. I’d just lay in sweat and under the noiseless fan, waiting for something, at the end. Life should not be a problem that is unbound, that it should be in the realm of other dimensions. Stuff we currently call fate, God, destiny, punishment, unknown or nature. Politics of the mishap, being the game of haye, being the native, the collector, has long been the norm, leaving us darkened in pain and suffering. Healing takes a lifetime of seeking out and preparation. Reaching out to everyone is what a model of perception should be. But that’s access rights, authentication, power, authorization. The limits of the amount of money I have. Only in the world of tomorrow, we would have a system which would allow a sustained Rt, with zero downtime, and only acceptable, awared, denial of service, that can save lives.

Alice knows that she is not an innocent person, but a DM, and she’s been working with the natives, rigging umbrella corporation, for a D-Day mishap unleashing death and famine into the world, bring that very resident evil out, like before, and how many times would that have happened, that Alice and her crew, has brought about this genocide infanticide to this world. They’re no God people, just Alma that evil spirit that stays resident in this earth. They’re been doing it to themselves as well. Before you get to any of those DMs, they’d be nemesis, themselves. It is all a big zombie world now, and just some of the survivors left here, who have no special knowledge, or gifts to defend themselves. But all these nemesis’s and zombies, all now just a bunch of black people, just staging a second coming, why? So that they can keep giving to me, by being me. Now they play me, as Narus, giving me what I want, but I’m so dumb, so stupid, gullible, how do I get smart? Do that Rt.

The bad people have taken over the world, over the ages, now in this modern world, we are all so locked down, so under siege of just a handful of very bad people, that they have made us fight wars and even made us race each other in the name of dominance leadership competition and even higher race or class. So much so that as even basic humans, we are set up, rigged to go off on each other. And those bad people who locked us out, have either died or started living in each of us. So no answers, only, have a heart. Red queen politics, it’s wahem, it being unreal, has infected all of us and now stays resident, until we spread the disease and kill everybody else. Wes is who is responsible for all of this stuff bad people authored set us all up, and became a disease or mishap, for the rest of us, called Haye.

Indie stuff from America. We used to own some of that in games, as children. It used to be so foreign, like 10 times of YouTube today. Cows, bears, lions. All so many species of animals, predators and kings. Africa the land of the desert and the jungle. So natural so serene.

Their are many games, movies and news items in the market today, even documentaries. The real world is just infinite warfare campaigns and conflicts, it is endless and we can’t wait for any of them to become the new version of the previous, as it is worth an entire lifetime. Middle East, the Levant, Israel, Ukraine, EUs Eastern Expansion, China, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Columbia, Venezuela, Argentina, Brexit, Catalonia, Migrants, Hong Kong, Ebola in Africa, Libya, Tunisia, Tripoli, Mongolia, Egypt, Cyprus, Turkey.

It is endless affairs all over the world, that’s not what we are going to do in this blog. We’ll do short local campaigns that are eventful dangerous horrific even fictitious. Because that’s what real life for me is about, I’m not going down India and make lies about stuff that is obfuscated vague and imperceptible to me. My blog Ajax424, is about all the real stuff.

I’m in Seegson Communications, stuck here for the last one week. No progress so far. Got myself a new echelon through lot of self discovery while I was stuck here, it works good, like a notebook computer. Monolithic works on its own. That has solved a lot of atmospheric issues I’ve been facing. I suffer from a disease called Ukraine for the last 11 years and sadly that’s how they’ve been restricting my overall abilities. No cure for that either, it is resident in this station for me. Ah what can I say about this station, aka Naetram. હવે been living here for the last 5 years now, has been a gloomy sad disappointing place since its inception, about what 18 years ago, maybe less. Power is low, they’re upto something, I’m running on backup mainly. How to get mains online, without them covering up? Somethings got to give, but will recover from it later I believe. Keep at it, churning the self liberation from prison. Joe aka Naetram is faulting a lot, going into ghost demon mode even?! Shall I issue a new one for this place? What if they covered up? We’ll have to junk the entire Seegson project.

See the world governments, officials, business executives, Cia, DM, news, police can do only so much. Hook me up with the right people, indirections, sleuths, peddlers, gossipers, insiders of my local unreachable unstable, whom I must overcome, and thwart on time, without letting it get its way, plant that d-day eventuality here. Or we all die. Even become a fake terrorist, think and pretend to be one, until something happens on TV. Not exactly looking for scales off fishes or snakes in the meat shops. Get my hair shortened, wear a long overcoat, carry an ex cop gun, and look for replicants whom I want to retire, or would they die on their own, like insects after, sunrise. I must be slow and careful as I move here. Be careful and watch myself, on this lonely crusade.

A fully covered up unreal, bad guy, for the first time. It is jealous but is social. This isn’t an easy notion to begin any useful diatribe on, why? Because it is arrogant. The smoke screen, the invisibility, and cloud of uncertainty prevails, so I move on. Encased in married couples, the future of mankind, that’s how we come to believe in them, and call them real. Kids, moms, in laws, and family of relatives. Another aspect of indirection and parallel universes. All too obfuscated to unlearn or even forget. Then who am I? Doom slayer or blade runner. This world won’t end that easy. We call them people. Don’t give them anything, that you can’t retrieve from. They come, cause the eventuality, then they leave. Why fight them? Just let them have their way while they come, later they leave on their own. Every time it feels so absurd, nightmarish. Then you have to follow them into a game, live an entire life, that would get wasted. You experience that destruction. Could we ever build a machine for this, call it excursion. But we can’t have that. Their innocence and simplicity, only hides something insidious, something horrific, surviving it is just Red Queen, arithmetic. Deadly. So we don’t have to meet them. Only watch them, feel them, fear them. Lose yourself while it happens, then put yourself back together. We are alone in this, solo survivor campaign.

Phillip K. Dick, the author of Do Electric Sheep Dream, captivated my imagination back when I was a young man, an engineer. looking for my own answers to this nightmare city. Did I have so much time then to complete my work and make some contribution to what was to come for me now, while I insert myself into the grid, the arrogant society. Nothing works here without the family structure. Then how do you carry out the same combat strategy in such small space? First I thought it was some wahem, nothing real, my dad, would guide me out of this, another, social disorder, but nothing seems to give them any solace other than, combat, and news filled with people dead, war, and famine. Wow, that’s how they define reality. They have no regard for life, just people dead, is all that matters to them. I’m just keeping the peace, everyday, evading their, dare to combat, and cause a mishap. But we are all connected and wired up. How do we escape this electric dream. Would their be an exit out of this chaos city. Everyone is on edge, just waiting, marked and matured to cause something insidious. I do feel like a blade runner, wanting to execute them all, but that won’t happen that easy. Because that’s what they want. So I must keep them in a rational system, where they don’t cause any harm to themselves. It isn’t easy. I do lose it sometimes, wanting to end it all, drop a bomb and put an end to this world, just wanting to die. I can’t give them that, no matter, however, how hard I try, they do find a way around me, and make news filled with blood and terror. Just bad people, not real. Who am I here ? Just a victim, of blood sucking vampires, these synthetics, replicants, humans.